A blind date with Jesus.

Warning: For all my friends who are extremely religious and without a sense of humor please don't read further as this is meant to be funny not offensive. 

A friend recently said I would find fault in any guy I date even Jesus. So this is what a date would be like between Jesus and myself. 

Ugh! Jesus who wants to date a guy with a god complex. Could you just see that date? 

Me: My father is a teacher, what does your dad do. 

Jesus: Well my father created this world in 6 day and he created you, this table, this food, everything. He is all knowing and all seeing. You should worship me because of that. You should hear how he got my mother pregnant. When you break that bread you should think of me and all I have sacrificed for you.  Would you like me to turn that water into wine? I can do that for you. 

Me: Yeah, I can change my own water into wine. The 12 guys milling around behind you is a little disturbing, do they go everywhere with you? Also you have food in your beard that looks like it's been there a couple days. 

Jesus: Speaking of disciples I thing Judas is covering the check as he just got paid today with some pieces of silver. 

Me: Oh Lord!

Jesus: You know my dad?

5 simple rules to Blind Dating

Here are 5 of my simple Blind Date rules:

1) If the guy is rude to the waiter I might..... I will excuses myself and go out the back never to return. (after apologizing profusely to the waiter)

2) If the guy can't start a conversation nor carry on a conversation then why would I torture myself a second time.

3) If their idea of a conversation is a one way lecture? Then I would rather pay to hear someone smarter and far more interesting.

4) If they can't call a person and use basic phone edict, like a simple: "Hello my name is_____!" then the question is do I really need to go any further? Or can I just hang up?

5) If the person turns out to be married, and is just looking for a "good time" then the friend who SET ME UP is no longer my friend.

Welcome to the humorous world of Blind Dates.

Hello!

Welcome to my humorous world of Blind Dating.

I must admit that I love Blind Dates. There is something about a friend thinking they know you and well enough to introduce you to someone they know. Most friends do it out of kindness wanting to help friends find happiness. Unfortunately they don't always look at what people have or don't have in common. A lot of my married girlfriends just look at the fact that I am a nice person the guy they know is a nice person and therefore we should be set up. Love is so much more.

This blog will cover some of my more "entertaining" blind dates in a humorous way. Almost all of them I can remember and laugh at them. We all do weird things on first dates, I know I do, and this is a way to share those funny stories with you.