The guy called me to set up a date. As it turned out we had worked vegas shows at different times and he had worked for a popular magician for an long run at a casino. He suggested lunch at an Applebee's or Chili's. I said that would be great as there are a couple of those restaurants close to me. He suggested one that was close to his place and I countered with a restaurant at a mutual distance from both homes. He said that wouldn't work and he would call me tomorrow with a place and time. A little confused I said OK, and hung up. FYI: Giving me time to think about a weird conversation was not to his advantage.
The next day I got a text saying he picked up stagehand work and would call in a week. In my business last minute work is understandable, so I text back that next week would be better to meet up. Giving me even more time to ponder his weird aversion to eating on my side of town.
About a week later he called and suggested a chain restaurant that was close to him but not to me. I said that the Applebee's near me was perfect why did he want to go to this new place. He said that it would take him to long to get me by bus. Wait! BUS!!! Before freaking out I said "don't you have a car?" He said yes but he currently didn't have a license. (Danger Will Robinson, Danger!) Having had a little time to think about this guy I was prepared with a list of questions. I asked him about his jobs and he said he had worked almost 20 years with the one magician on the strip and that it was a great union job. He had also worked Splash and several others stage union jobs. As I started to piece things together I pressed him further. I hinted that I might be able to pick him up if I knew where his house was. He told me he lived in an studio apartment and was working towards buying a house. But he really liked the idea of meeting and dating a woman who had her life together and owned her own home. So my next suggestion was to pick him up and eating at the Applebee's across town near my house.… And here is where the truth came out.
He couldn't go that far across town with the ankle bracelet that he would have to get permission from his parole officer. Going from his apartment to the strip for work was ok, but nothing else for the next 6 months. He had an appointment with his parole officer and could ask about having his radius expanded (WTF). Next I asked him why he didn't own a house if he had worked all these great vegas shows as I know what the union pays. He said all of his money had been spent on drugs, alcohol, and gambling but that he was turning his life around. After being arrested several times for crimes related to his addictions and spending time in jail he didn't have anything saved other than the next check coming in. This lead to my last question, was he seeking help for his addictions. He said no that he thought he could do this on his own, at this point I stopped him and said that I was thrilled he was making changes to his life and I wished him luck with success in his future but that I didn't think this was going to work at all.
Epilogue: As a performer I know a lot of people with drug and alcohol addictions. Some I keep in my life because they don't let their addiction effect other parts of their lives. Yet others I am very leery of as I have seen their addictions tear apart the lives of everyone around them.
As a single female I have the ability to choose to either have that type of chaos in my life or walk (run) away from it. In this situation I am very happy that I didn't even leave my home. Other stage hands have let me know that guy has yet to get his life together and continues to feed his addictions.
